


I Am Not The Ghost You Are To Me

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Countries Using Human Names, M/M, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 09:05:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7216264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America finds France in the morning after a party as his house.</p><p>Song Fic based on Carry On by Fun.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Am Not The Ghost You Are To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is probably terrible but oh well. First published fanfic, you know the drill.

_Well I woke up to the sound of silence_

_And cries were cutting like knives in a fist fight_

_And I found you with a bottle of wine_

_Your head in the curtains_

_And heart like the Fourth of July_

-

It was the morning after a particularly hardcore party at America's house, celebrating the end of a week-long UN meeting. Every country showed up, some begrudgingly, and they had all left late in the night, or so Alfred thought. At around seven in the morning, he awoke in his bed to a searing headache and the sound of whimpering from beside his couch. However wasted he had gotten the night before was nothing compared to that of many other nations, so he rolled out of bed to check the noise with nothing but a slight hiss at the light and a small gasp when his bare feet hit the cold floor. The sobbing man, which quieted at the sound of movement from Alfred's room, was clutching a mostly empty bottle of red wine and hiding his face in the nearby curtains, obviously too drunk to notice how easy it would be for Alfred to tell who he was from his statement blue coat and red pants, albeit that they were wrinkled and stained from the night before. His tears struck Alfred as a problem, because the normally flirtatious and suave man would never lower himself to the standard of crying in someone's floor. Alfred got down on his knees beside the man and nudged him slightly with the palm of his hand. "Francis," he whispered, "what's wrong?"

-

_You swore and said, "We are not, We are not shining stars."_

_This I know, I never said we are_

-

A cynical, or even sardonic, laugh made its way through the Frenchman's tears as he replied with a simple "what isn't?" That answer put Alfred into a different mindset as he thought that maybe this wasn't an emotional problem, maybe it was something that came after so long of being a nation, and he had yet to reach this point. Another statement from the formally teary-eyed man snapped him out of his pondering. "We live forever, right? Our, uh, our kind. Well, not forever, but as long as our country does and sometimes longer. We do that, the living thing, and that's it. We aren't important. Our people could make do without us. We're not the light of their lives, we aren't holy to them." But, of course, Alfred already knew of his lack of importance to the people of his nation, but that didn't mean he cared any less about them. Francis seemed to have forgotten about how they might not need him, but he needed them, and his health directly correlated to their well-being. 'Is this what happens to us?' he thought. But instead of voicing his thoughts out loud, he settled for a quiet "I know" as he took the near empty bottle from the man and assisted him to sit on the couch. He left for a few seconds to get Francis a glass of water, and then returned to the man on the sofa. Though I've never been through hell like that I've closed enough windows to know you can never look back Alfred took this time to thoroughly appreciate how naive he had been up to this point about the other countries mental states and how being a nation affects their personalities and views on life. However, he wasn't new to pain. He had his own fair share of betrayals and heartbreaks, but that wasn't the point. He had never sobbed into someone's curtains while clutching to a bottle of alcohol. He never let heartbreak or backstabbing or sadness get to him. Alfred always moved on quickly and never let anything catch up to him. He never turned around, because the monsters chasing him must be in thousands and he shouldn't let them see him scared.

-

_If you're lost and alone_

_Or you're sinking like a stone._

_Carry on._

_May your past be the sound_

_Of your feet upon the ground._

_Carry on._

-

After handing the glass of water to the quickly sobering nation, Alfred sat beside him on the couch and grabbed his shoulder in what could be interpreted as a friendly gesture or one of comfort, but it was understood between the both of them that it was so that Francis understood Alfred was there and that Alfred was sure that Francis hadn't left or faded away or done anything bad. They had been close friends for years and always were there for each other, even through the problems on both sides with England, but overall they had been able to learn to tolerate another when Alfred had left Arthur almost a century ago and the man had taken comfort in Francis. Arthur and Alfred had slowly rebuilt a tentative friendship after that, Alfred being the third wheel at many events and learning to bring Canada with him so that he wasn't left alone while the other two starred into each others eyes like in teenage love stories. Alfred honestly hoped the best for the two, and was quite happy on his own, so no jealousy appeared or disrupted the friendship between Alfred and Francis. With all this being set up, Alfred felt severely pained at seeing the older man like this. He hoped he didn't stay in this state forever. He needed his friend back, that he could joke around with easily. Carry on, carry on Later on in the day, after Francis had gotten out of his alcohol-induced funk, him and Alfred had decided to call up Arthur, Matthew, and any other nations who wanted to come to a bar down the street from the hotel they were all staying at. England, Canada, Japan, and China had all answered out phone calls and agreed to meet at the bar at 9 that afternoon.

-

_So I met up with some friends at the edge of the night_

_At a bar off 75._

_And we talked and talked about how our parents will die,_

_All our neighbours and wives._

-

After a day of sitting around, watching television, and nursing themselves back to health after the night they had endured previously, they got dressed, Francis in some of his clothes he keeps stashed at Alfred's place for occurrences just like this, and left to the bar. They got there at around 9:10, which meant that the others were probably inside waiting for them, which they were. They gathered around a booth and ordered a round of beers, Francis cringing at this notion, and the rest just rolling their eyes at him and making various comments of things similar to "it's all alcohol, don't be picky." After everyone shared greetings, they started talking about silly things, like how everyone acted at the world meeting, and started teasing the normally ignored Canada about his relationship with the dissolved nation of Prussia. China was intelligent enough to stop England after his first beer, so his tipsy mood didn't lead to a pitiful one. The others downed a few more beers before the conversation took a sad turn. France accidentally made a comment about the former wife of China, whom had died many years ago to a sickness. She knew about the nations, as have many humans, but since the nations have near immortal life spans, they have all died in previous time. Everyone sobered, of course, not literally, for a second as they remembered the friends and loves that had grown older than them and passed away, or that they had to leave so as to not reveal the nations to those that weren't allowed to know. Matthew made some utterance along the lines of "it's inevitable, isn't it?"

-

_But I like to think I can cheat it all_

_To make up for the times I've been cheated on._

_ And it's nice to know when I was left for dead _

_ I was found and now I don't roam these streets, _

_ I am not the ghost you are to me. _

-

But Alfred had a different idea to it all. He believed that if he didn't get close to anyone but nations, he would save himself the non-heroic heartbreak that would ensue. Of course, by doing this he might miss out on some of the greatest experiences in his life, but he didn't mind. It would be fine, as long as he didn't think too hard about it. He would never have to have his heart broken or damage any humans if he just kept his distance and only hung around nations. It was a simple enough plan, and so far it was going just spectacularly. He was just fine with the friends he had, and nothing could take that away from him.

-

_ If you're lost and alone _

_ Or you're sinking like a stone . _

_ Carry on. _

_ May your past be the sound _

_ Of your feet upon the ground. _

_ Carry on. _

_ Whoa! My head is on fire but my legs are fine. _

_ After all they are mine. _

_ Lay your clothes down on the floor, _

_ Close the door, hold the phone, _

_ Show me how no one's ever gonna stop us now. _

-

After a few hours of mindless chatter and hanging out in the bar, it was closing time, and they had to make their way home, or in the majority of their cases, to the hotel they were staying in for another few days after the World Meeting. However, all being too awake and intoxicated to rest, they decided to wander around the block and go to a nearby park. China, Japan, France, and Canada were all stumbling and barely able to walk, whereas England, who was sober by this point, and America, who was still drunk off his ass, were walking fine. Arthur, who was holding up a limping Francis, asked Alfred about this and got a slurred reply of "I'm America, a little alcohol can't stop me from walking." As he said this, Francis got a grin that immediately spread to the other nations as they all felt at peace when Alfred was being cocky, although many years ago they would have hit him for acting so self-assured. But now his self-assurance was also helpful to the others. It gave them a sense of power, or a sense of placement in the world, when Alfred was acting like this, even if he was none the wiser. All he knew at this point was that they were all grinning like madmen, and that was good enough for him. 'Cause here we are We are shining stars We are invincible We are who we are On our darkest day When we're miles away Sun will come We will find our way home As they arrived at the park, France had the bright idea to swing on the small child-sized park equipment that he could barely sit in. China and Japan joined him in his absolutely ridiculous idea. Some time during this, Matthew had found himself being called and pulled away from his friends for one reason or another. America and England were comfortable sitting on the sidelines watching the bumbling nations make fools of themselves. America, however, decided after a few seconds that it was no fun to sit there and do nothing, so he began to pace around the equipment humming a tune that sounded strangely like "Hello Goodbye" by the Beatles and that made the older nation smile a sad smile. England hoped that eventually the bumbling younger nation could find someone that made him happy. He didn't like to see sadness in people so young. America wasn't even of a legal age to be out drinking with them, but it's unlikely that something like that would stop him. England had a short thought of how if he and Francis could make it in the world, then someone like Alfred wouldn't let being America stop him from being the kind guy Alfred actually was. He wasn't going to let the nation side of him win. Some nations had been alive for so long that it wasn't even worthwhile to call them by a human name any more. China was China, and that was his personality and the way his brain functioned. Not that they disliked China, it's just that he wasn't human any more. Japan could be called Kiku, France could be called Francis (if only barely), and England could be called Arthur. It was almost silly to call Alfred anything other than Alfred, because he was so young he barely he taken any form of his country into his personality compared to the others. He started with stereotypes, like all the others, and slowly is getting to the point of becoming stoic like many other nations. He was better than that, and he knew it. But Francis used to believe the same thing before he slowly started to lose hope in his individuality. Arthur hoped the fate would be different for the spectacled blond nation.

-

_ If you're lost and alone _

_ Or you're sinking like a stone. _

_ Carry on. _

_ May your past be the sound _

_ Of your feet upon the ground. _

_ Carry on. _

-

Maybe he would make it. The same thought had occurred to the other nations besides Arthur as well. They were almost jealous of his stubbornness to stay human. He wasn't like the others. He wasn't just going to accept his fate. He had decided that he would do this for any country that couldn't. And maybe it was just because the stubbornness of his human was the same as the stubbornness of his country, or maybe it was because his country was so set upon being 'free', but he would make it.

_ - _

_ No one's ever gonna stop us now. _


End file.
